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"Each of us must come to care about everyone else's children. We must recognize that the well being of our own children is intimately linked to the well being of all other people's children. After all, when one of our children needs life-saving surgery, someone else's child will perform it. When one of our children is harmed by violence, someone else's child will commit it. The good life for our own children can be secured only if it is also secured for all other people's children. But to work for the well being of all children is not just a practical matter-- it is also right!" - Lilian G. Katz, Phd.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Healing

I am healing.  While I am talking about my wrist and hand in one sense, this statement has a little more depth to it.  I find that I was the walking wounded for the last couple of years.  I only shared hints of my inner turmoil and did not acknowledge it, even to myself.  There were signs though.  Things crumbled around me and I could no longer juggle.  I did not graduate from ASU.  I will have to re-take a class in the Fall in order to do so.  Life was overwhelming and I did not cope well.

The amazing thing is how few people realized it.  Now that I am putting things back together, I see all the signs.  I have 2-3 year old projects that sit around unfinished, like tiling my hall.  I am taking care of things now, but they are in far worse shape than they should be.

But, I am healing.  On my own and with support.  My home is starting to be home again.  I am still struggling with being chronically behind and with my health, but it is doable.  I am happy and smiling on the inside a larger percentage of the time.  I am facing the chaos ahead with praticality and with hope.

As by body heals, my heart and mind are too.  I am becoming a better person slowly, and I have much to look forward to.

To those I let down, either with promises unfilled or by my actions, my apologies.  I have trouble acknowledging I am not a superwoman and that I can not handle everything my life throws me with grace.  I do damn well, but I forget to communiucate.  I even lock myself out of the loop, apparently.  I assume it is a survival strategy, but it is annoying to see my past with 20/20 vision and realize how all the signs were there.

I am looking forward to the healing continuing, while I clean up the pieces left and build 6the future.

And yes, my hand is healing too.