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"Each of us must come to care about everyone else's children. We must recognize that the well being of our own children is intimately linked to the well being of all other people's children. After all, when one of our children needs life-saving surgery, someone else's child will perform it. When one of our children is harmed by violence, someone else's child will commit it. The good life for our own children can be secured only if it is also secured for all other people's children. But to work for the well being of all children is not just a practical matter-- it is also right!" - Lilian G. Katz, Phd.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Confessions of an Obnoxious Fat Person

Courtesy Call_Me_Robert. Used with Permission

I was once an obnoxious fat person. I had lost 60 lbs through a fluke, and gloated. I would tell people that all they needed to do was make lifestyle changes and they would lose weight too.

To all those people, consider this your public apology. I was wrong.

So, if in my joy over a perceived change that was fleeting I hurt you or made you feel less than the beautiful person you are, I am sorry. I feel it, I know it, and I am sorry I perpetuated it.

To my sons, I owe another apology, and hope the strides I am taking now in acceptance are soon enough to correct the damage. Food is a joyful thing, and I hope I have not robbed you of that joy.

To myself I especially apologize. In my quest to find acceptance and love from the outside, I abused you. I am now at my heaviest point, which may not have been a problem if I hadn't tried to lose weight so many times. I have and still do at times, viewed you with disgust and loathing. I have indulged in the "if only" game, and ignored legitimate health issues just because I thought they were because I was fat and deserved to suffer.

I have stuffed myself into too small clothes because I didn't want to admit I had gone up a size.

And the worst thing, in this spirit of confession, is that I have unintentionally supported a societal hatred of fat that goes beyond logic. I have maintained the status quo and not stood up for myself and others. I have actively participated in fat shaming.

But words are one thing, actions are another.

So this week (with the caveat that I can not start until the semester is over) I have volunteered as Non-profit and Legal issues team lead for COFRA. This is the Coalition of Fat Rights Activists. I am sure I will have a lot more to say as time goes one, but at least, for know, I am putting my money, time, and energy into making a difference.

Of course, this is along with my work with Magellan, the Family Involvement Center, and the MISS Foundation. Somebody stop me!!!