Wednesday, October 3, 2007

I am obese.

(First- this is my 400th Post! Woot!)

I am fat, obese, chunky, pudgy, squishy or whatever you want to call it. I have been that way since High School. I have been teased, rejected, and told how unhealthy I am.

Unfortunately, I was passing on these messages to my genetically similar children. Then one day I got a wake up call. I have gone up and down all my life, as illustrated in this Flickr stream (which is not updated- I need to upload more pictures.) I went to my doctor after loosing 30 lbs 2 years ago- It all came back and I didn't understand why. I haven't changed my eating habits, I exercise, and I do not drink soda or eat many sweets. I was diagnosed with PCOS and told that to help my issues, I needed to lose weight and that PCOS makes it hard to lose weight.

It seemed like the impossible. I was depressed about my body. I was worried about my boys. I thought we were all going to die early, painful deaths from fat related diseases, because don't you realize that fat is unhealthy?

Then I started to wake up. I found people and books which made me critically think about what I was doing to myself and my children.

And then I started to love myself. For who I am. I started that long difficult journey of accepting compliments with grace and sincerity. Of shopping for flattering, fitting clothes for both myself and my boys. Of looking at photographs of myself and suppressing the urge to critique....

And so now, I have come to a crossroads. Today, I make a statement...

Hello, My name is Krista, and I am fat. And I love myself.