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"Each of us must come to care about everyone else's children. We must recognize that the well being of our own children is intimately linked to the well being of all other people's children. After all, when one of our children needs life-saving surgery, someone else's child will perform it. When one of our children is harmed by violence, someone else's child will commit it. The good life for our own children can be secured only if it is also secured for all other people's children. But to work for the well being of all children is not just a practical matter-- it is also right!" - Lilian G. Katz, Phd.

Friday, March 7, 2008

Our Story- Part 1

So, I started out planning to write about this weekend, and so I shall. But I realized that I had never actually written out the story of Chris and I, and it is a wonderful story. It is a story of almost losing someone and finding them again. Chris will need to correct any factual errors- I have a very poor long term memory.

In 2003, I was at loose ends. I had a couple of long term relationships post divorce, and they had ended amicably. I was learning what I wanted for myself and my family, and learning a fine discernment that I had lacked in previous relationships. In other words, I was learning not to marry guys just because they liked me. I had gone directly from a very bad, young, first marriage directly into a long-term relationship, eventually marriage, with the boys' father.

I needed to learn how to date, and to that end I put out an online personals ad. I used the then TechTV service with the idea that I wanted to find a geek. As my friend Cinder put it, I would never be happy with a normal guy. Little did I realize that the service was actually through Springstreet, and it put me with many people from diverse backgrounds. I found a couple of interesting profiles of guys that could string two or more words together coherently. I found it intriguing that so many guys couldn't and even worse, would often dismiss reading as something that was n0t interesting.

Soon I had a couple of dates lined up and was on the road to learning to date again. It wasn't easy. I found that I was dating 4 gentlemen at the same time at one point. One of the gentlemen was a very quiet lad named Chris. He didn't have a cell phone, lived with roommates and was just, well, quiet. We had a few dates, with the initial one being a game night at Cinder's house. Cinder thought he was too vanilla for me, and after a couple of dates I came to that conclusion as well.

Friends through work set me up on a blind date with a wonderful gentleman. We decided to make a go of it, and I had to do something really, really hard for me. I had to let the others, including that nice young man Chris, know that I was no longer interested. I think I did a good job, but Chris may have other ideas about that (rejection is never easy).

Meanwhile, I frequently took newer dates to go see the Clarevoyants at one of the pubs. The 'Voyants are no longer together, but for a while they were the hot pub band in Phoenix, and had a loyal following. I always had friends in the room, so it made it a safe venue for internet dating.

Chris apparently liked them, because one night at a show, I saw him lurking in the back of the room. I went up and said hi, then dragged him back to the pub crowd and introduced him to everyone. Because of my hectic life, I did not make it out very often. Chris did, though, and rapidly became a regular.

So, life continued. I still dated a bit here and there. I eventually quit my job and became a full-time mom and student (long story there). Then came my birthday- 2005.

To be continued....