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"Each of us must come to care about everyone else's children. We must recognize that the well being of our own children is intimately linked to the well being of all other people's children. After all, when one of our children needs life-saving surgery, someone else's child will perform it. When one of our children is harmed by violence, someone else's child will commit it. The good life for our own children can be secured only if it is also secured for all other people's children. But to work for the well being of all children is not just a practical matter-- it is also right!" - Lilian G. Katz, Phd.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Stop, relax, Breeaaatthheeeee

My busy, busy life.  I feel bad for Chris, because I have had no time at all to really talk.  He called today, and while I was very happy to hear from him, I had just sat down to eat for the first time today, and basic necessities were outweighing psychic needs.

Drama has continued-  not outwardly, but inwardly.  I am very pained by circumstances and I really don't have a lot of outlets for it.  I am tempted to just go confront the problem head on, but I want to respect the request of the persons involved and stay away.  I have left an open invitation to work it out, and will have to trust the universe to work the way it is supposed to.  I went through an anger spate yesterday.  

This is normal:
The 5 Stages of Coping With Trauma.  Death need not be involved.

As an example, apply the 5 stages to a traumatic event most all of us have experienced: The Dead Battery!  You're going to be late to work so you rush out to your car, place the key in the ignition and turn it on. You hear nothing but a grind; the battery is dead.

1. DENIAL --- What's the first thing you do? You try to start it again! And again. You may check to make sure the radio, heater, lights, etc. are off and then..., try again.
2. ANGER --- "%$@^##& car!", "I should have junked you years ago." Did you slam your hand on the steering wheel? I have. "I should just leave you out in the rain and let you rust."
3. BARGAINING --- (realizing that you're going to be late for work)..., "Oh please car, if you will just start one more time I promise I'll buy you a brand new battery, get a tune up, new tires, belts and hoses, and keep you in perfect working condition.
4. DEPRESSION --- "Oh God, what am I going to do. I'm going to be late for work. I give up. My job is at risk and I don't really care any more. What's the use".
5. ACCEPTANCE --- "Ok. It's dead. Guess I had better call the Auto Club or find another way to work. Time to get on with my day; I'll deal with this later."

I felt pressured into the situation originally by my high regards, call it even love- of one of the many types, of the involved parties and my desire to make it work.  Needless to say, it hasn't.  I feel bad, because I feel like I have compromised my ethics, and in doing so, compromised my self, in being in the situation to begin.  Hell, I am still being protective (both of the involved parties, and of my children, who were not involved at all) by not detailing the situation.

Konal is still having movement issues.  I am, quite frankly, scared.  I was researching his medications and movement disorders yesterday on the 'net (when I should have been writing a paper, but we will get to that) and ran across Wilson's Disease again.
I feel guilty for never requesting him be tested for it.  He fits some of the symptoms, but not all.   The psychiatrist called me back on Tuesday (FINALLY!!) and said that she didn't think it was the Abilify.  Abilify is apparently used to treat Tics (although I did not find any info on that in my research).   She got him an appointment for tomorrow, but feels he may need to see a neurologist.

I will update once I know more.  Meanwhile, he is getting teased at school and is generally unhappy.

I called today to see if I could get the results of Aidan's EEG.  They haven't called me back.  The appt is in a couple of weeks at Phoenix Children's Hospital.

School is hectic.  I had a Stats test and a paper in Women's studies due today.  I finished the paper literally 5 minutes before class started.  I have been working, both for SWFHC and Family Involvement and I had a BOD meeting last night.  It was fun.  Anne Winter, from the governors office, was there (She is  Policy Adviser for Health/Human Services).  She updated us on the Governor's children's policies.  She was talking about the interdisciplinary teams helping with Katrina victims, and my thought was why couldn't you do that for all of AZ's needy families?  One point of contact, all services in one place-  Food, Housing, Employment, Medical and Mental Health???

I don't begrudge the evacuees the help.  I just hope people don't forget the rest of the needs in America.

[Listening to: Road Movie to Berlin - They Might Be Giants - Flood (02:22)]