Return to Krista's Korner

"Each of us must come to care about everyone else's children. We must recognize that the well being of our own children is intimately linked to the well being of all other people's children. After all, when one of our children needs life-saving surgery, someone else's child will perform it. When one of our children is harmed by violence, someone else's child will commit it. The good life for our own children can be secured only if it is also secured for all other people's children. But to work for the well being of all children is not just a practical matter-- it is also right!" - Lilian G. Katz, Phd.

Monday, September 19, 2005

Life in a war zone

I had a long talk with my therapist today about emotional distance and its necessity to my well being as a coping mechanism. I live in a constant war zone, and I have developed a wall to keep my sanity. Before the development of this wall, I was non-functioning.

Advantages- I have seen hell few can imagine, lived through it, and have turned it around to good.

Disadvantages- I don't let myself feel too much. This means I often am distant to my detriment. I rarely let people close and do not share my deepest emotions with them. This is not because of trust issues or anything to do with the person. This comes from fear of breaking down the wall. I am terrified that if I let myself feel, I will feel everything and no longer function.

On to other thoughts- I went to a meeting of Estrella Mountain's Social Action Committee today. I was the only one in the room over the age of 20. I listened to their version of social issues and I managed to keep from laughing. After all, they have not experienced real life yet. After the president pitched the idea of making Hurricane Katrina relief the focus for the semester, I quietly put forth a few ideas. They listened with respect- which I really appreciated. I still find it novel to have people think my ideas are worth listening to.

I merely pointed out what happened after 9-11. Several small local agencies could not get funding, because everyone donated money to 9-11 charities, to the point that survivors got big cash gifts because of the amount of money left over. I suggested that we adopt a local agency and promote them, and maybe split all fundraisers between Katrina and the local agency. We will be discussing this again next week. Maybe I can get these young idealists to focus on the people starving right in front of them.

[Listening to: Mosquito Song - Queens Of The Stone Age - Songs For The Deaf (05:38)]