Return to Krista's Korner

"Each of us must come to care about everyone else's children. We must recognize that the well being of our own children is intimately linked to the well being of all other people's children. After all, when one of our children needs life-saving surgery, someone else's child will perform it. When one of our children is harmed by violence, someone else's child will commit it. The good life for our own children can be secured only if it is also secured for all other people's children. But to work for the well being of all children is not just a practical matter-- it is also right!" - Lilian G. Katz, Phd.

Monday, April 25, 2005

I'm cursed

There are times in my life I swear I am cursed. We have yet another plague on this household- the stomach flu this time. Aidan is the sickest and has been running a fever since Sat. Konal was fairly sick, but is doing better-- meanwhile, his behavior deteriorates when he is sick. I got sick today. I am exhausted and don't want to move. Ouch!

I am feeling overwhelmed, lonely, disconnected. I did an awful, horrible thing last night too. Konal kicked me in the ribs while he and I were fighting about him going to bed and where he was going to sleep. I lost it at that point and told him I was not going to tolerate it anymore and he had to move. I was going to call his dad to come pick him up. I started actually taking clothes out of his closet and carrying them out to the living room.

Now, some of you may be thinking this is a reasonable thing. It is not. This is a child who has been abandoned by almost everyone in his life. His stability is me. I have fought so hard to keep him home, and then I do this. I am afraid of the damage I did. He melted down into tears and told me he can't live at dad's because they would send him to jail because he wouldn't be able to control himself.

We did sit and talk afterwards, so I hope that it is repairable. I hate it when I lose my temper like that. I am losing my ability to cope again...

I can't concentrate and too much is going on right now. I need a break!!!!

I did get the family guide finished! And I am working on government... just not fast enough.

[Listening to: Particle Man - They Might Be Giants - Dial-A-Song: 20 Years of They Might Be Giants Disc 1 (01:58)]