Return to Krista's Korner

"Each of us must come to care about everyone else's children. We must recognize that the well being of our own children is intimately linked to the well being of all other people's children. After all, when one of our children needs life-saving surgery, someone else's child will perform it. When one of our children is harmed by violence, someone else's child will commit it. The good life for our own children can be secured only if it is also secured for all other people's children. But to work for the well being of all children is not just a practical matter-- it is also right!" - Lilian G. Katz, Phd.

Thursday, February 10, 2005

These are the days of our lives....

There are some days you just can't seem to win. I have an issue that I have written about many times that just keeps getting more and more under my skin. It really is a no win situation and I don't know what the future will bring. I feel like I am in the middle of a Shakespearian tragedy. Two people, attracted to each other, held apart by other forces and responsibilities.....

I had trouble sleeping last night thinking about a long conversation I had with this person. Actually, not only thinking about the conversation, but about the way his hand felt on my cheek, and the feeling of his body against mine when we hugged. I liked the way it felt. I could have curled up and stayed in his arms for a long time... It has been a long time since someone has held me.
I wanted so badly to absolutely melt into that hug, but I didn't. I held back and was "good" and put my heart away. I am scared that I could absolutely fall in love with this person, and that would be a bad thing at this point. There are many perfectly good reasons not to love him, and many reasons I could. And if he reads this, which is a possibility, he will know there is a lot I am still keeping back from him. I am not using good judgment in writing about this, but I need to process it.

I wonder if I am just vulnerable because I am lonely, or if it is because of how he feels about me... I do know that I am losing control of my heart at a time I can't afford to.


sigh..... Me and my soap opera life.

On to other topics.... Konal is improving. Wednesday evening was a last big blowout, it seems like. He even survived dental work and having minor toenail surgery yesterday. The hard part today is going to be keeping him quiet and resting. It is nice to have some piece in the house.

Aidan is still having a hard time right now. My poor boo. Life is so complicated for him.

Me- well, besides my emotional mess, my knee is progressing, albeit slowly. It hurts, and I am not taking care of it. My bad.... I just have so much to do, and I need to get back to what I was doing before quickly. School, chores, responsibilities.....


I am going to try to go to speech class today.... I am not sure though. I hurt. I am tired of hurting. And it really was my own fault I hurt. I shouldn't have been there in the first place....