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"Each of us must come to care about everyone else's children. We must recognize that the well being of our own children is intimately linked to the well being of all other people's children. After all, when one of our children needs life-saving surgery, someone else's child will perform it. When one of our children is harmed by violence, someone else's child will commit it. The good life for our own children can be secured only if it is also secured for all other people's children. But to work for the well being of all children is not just a practical matter-- it is also right!" - Lilian G. Katz, Phd.

Saturday, February 5, 2005

Saturday Night

I probably should have gone out tonight. My friend Theresa from O'Connors texted me. I am sure she is out having a good time. I just don't feel like being around people right now. Besides, I am a bit whiny right now- my knee fucking hurts. I am tired of being in pain and I want to go away.

I had the sweetest phone call today. Jen called and invited me to a girls night- even offered to bring it to me. It was on Thursday nights, so wasn't a real possibility. She almost made me cry (which, by the way, I haven't actually done in a very long time.) She told me they are all very worried about me and if there was anything that would help me to let her know.

She really emphasized the me and not Konal part.

Unfortunately, I had a percocet just taking effect and I wasn't all with it.

I don't like the way the percocets make me feel. They do take the edge off the pain, but I get dizzy and sleepy and nauseous on them.

I was bad and went out today. It cost me too- I really hurt tonight. I went to Best buy and used a gift card I had forgotten about to buy Sum41- Chuck. Good album.
Then I went to B&N and got two books for Boo for his birthday, which is rapidly approaching. I spent too much money.

I went to Blockbuster and rented 4 movies- I, robot; Saved; Shaun of the Dead; and Napoleon Dynamite.
The only one I haven't watched is Napoleon Dynamite.... I really have nothing else to do. I also took a nap today.


Everyone is being so nice, and sweet and supportive to me. I did what I was supposed to and reached out and let people know crap was going on. Now I can't tell them they are driving me crazy and to leave me alone. Most don't understand, and insist on talking about things I don't really want to talk about, and in no way do I feel like educating them right now....

Sigh

I am an emotional mess. There- I admitted it. I am really afraid to let go and let my true emotions be known.

I will heal. I have before and I will again. I just don't know if I can heal fast enough this time....