Return to Krista's Korner

"Each of us must come to care about everyone else's children. We must recognize that the well being of our own children is intimately linked to the well being of all other people's children. After all, when one of our children needs life-saving surgery, someone else's child will perform it. When one of our children is harmed by violence, someone else's child will commit it. The good life for our own children can be secured only if it is also secured for all other people's children. But to work for the well being of all children is not just a practical matter-- it is also right!" - Lilian G. Katz, Phd.

Saturday, January 15, 2005

I feel better

Much, much better. I went to O'Connors tonight and am pretty sure that I will go back tomorrow night. It is amazing how much better things look after enjoying congenial company and good music. Plus, I got to discuss some issues with a friend completely unconnected with them and vent a little.

I got to lose the immobilizer and now have a hinged brace. The bad news is that the doc said that it will probably take a couple of months to heal. I start physical therapy next week.
My financial aid check finally came in. Now I have to wait for it to clear the bank before I can buy the books and software I need for this semester. Probably Wednesday since Monday is a holiday.

Tonight I spoke quite a bit with the above mentioned friend about multiple things. A lot of them I have already been trying to sort through in this blog. We spoke about life, finding yourself, finding love, and especially how men seem to be the most attracted to you when you are unavailable.
I had made a decision to hold off the dating thing and looking and concentrate on myself and my family for a while.
Now I am dating Jeff. At the same time I am aware of 3 different other guys who are attracted to me now.

I have another dilemma. Every guy I date I size up in regards to future commitment and as a father for the boys. All have not met these factors in my head. I don't mind and I date them anyway, but with the realization that it is not permanent and is just for companionship. I have a fairly strict limited interaction with the boys policy. They usually get to meet my boyfriends, but I never let the guys around enough to get attached.
Jeff is yet another one that falls short. While I can see him as a future partner, I can not see him taking on a family as complex as mine. There is a factor in this dilemma that deals with a guy that does fit the "criteria" but is completely unavailable to me and some details that I absolutely can not discuss in a public forum.

Why does it have to be so complicated???

I think it is time I got some sleep. I am fairly tired and have hope that tonight I can actually sleep. I was good tonight and only drank cherry coke. So no alcohol to help the sleep process. Goodnight.